7 Ways To Know You Are Mentally Strong: Part II

As discussed in Part I, mentally resilient people overcome the adversities in their lives over time, learn valuable lessons, and can often become enlightened by seemingly impossible setbacks. They generally possess emotional maturity and adaptive defense mechanisms (Metzger, 2014) versus maladaptive ones. Mental resilience is negatively correlated with psychopathology and correlated with good mental health, proactive coping skills, personality flexibility, and adaptability. For example, they can see another’s perspective during disagreements, solve problems over time, and have more positive outcomes in life versus negative ones.

Good mental health is connected to mental resilience. Everyone feels depressed or anxious in life at some point, but mentally resilient people use resources to get better. For example, because they are emotionally mature, they see reality for what it is, reach out for support, and are proactive in solving their problems. Mentally resilient people tend not to struggle with emotional immaturity, a hallmark of more severe psychopathology such as personality disorders. For instance, emotionally immature people may only see things from only their perspective, feel their problems are larger than others, and blame others for their own self-created problems. Further, their perceptions of reality are often overruled by what they “feel” not facts and reality.

Mentally strong people are emotionally mature and can bounce back over time despite setbacks. They exhibit the following characteristics:

7 Traits of Mentally Strong and Resilient People

  1. They deal with reality for what it is and deal with challenges directly. Mentally resilient people take stock of facts, research, and feedback from professionals and loved ones. They do not alter history or reality and believe in their revisions to events that have happened. This can include planning and seeing the situation clearly, often conferring with others, so they are prepared for the consequences of their behavior for what life throws at them.

 

  1. They accept the consequences of their choices. They take responsibility for their actions and the effects of their decisions. They don’t ignore hurts or pains that occur as a result, but over time they do not blame others for their choices or play a “victim” role blaming others for problems they cause themselves. They are also self-compassionate toward themselves during hard times knowing they are choosing the best in any given circumstance.

 

  1. They possess the ability to self-monitor. Self-monitoring means that one can have an awareness of their behavior, feelings, and thoughts, and regulate their feelings and responses based on the demands of the situation. Proactive about their issues, they reach out for help for problems. They take responsibility for their actions and see how their actions affect others.

 

  1. They possess the ability to self-correct. They adjust their responses in any given situation to produce positive consequences. Because they learn from their mistakes, they produce more positive consequences in their lives than negative ones. They are reliable and consistent in their responses and limitations.

 

  1. They can make meaning of their past hurts and experiences and have a spiritual framework to make meaning of the bad things. Transcendence is key to resilience. “One cannot solve a problem with the same level of consciousness used to create it” (Einstein). Mentally resilient people can transcend their negative experiences in many ways by making “lemons out of lemonade”. For instance, according to Valliant (2000). Beethoven wrote his Ninth Symphony channeling his despair over his deafness but transcending this into a beautiful contribution to the world of music and art. Mentally strong people use their experiences of struggle and hurt to help others.

 

  1. They do not engage in affective realism; they can access feelings and facts at the same time. Affective realism is basing reality on what it feels. For example, emotions overrule and can affect how one perceives content, and determine reality. Mentally strong people are overcome by emotions at times; however, they engage in reality testing. This is the ability to recognize the difference between their internal feelings and the external world. Therefore, they can access their rational minds consistently. Accessing your rational mind after a short period and applying facts and logic to a situation is paramount in both emotional maturity and mental resilience.

 

  1. They deal with their pasts; they don’t bury them. They can recognize and deal with emotionally distressing events in their pasts. They can recognize that their pasts may be affecting their current functioning. Symptoms of “burying” emotions or traumas can include overeating, eating disorders, alcohol, drug, or other addictions. Mentally strong people seek professional help or find some other way to metabolize their pain. These include connecting with trusted loved ones, journaling, gratitude exercises, seeking out other methods of healing such as yoga, meditation, prayer, and exercise. By being able to process these events and disappointments or traumas, they do not accumulate into larger-scale problems later in life (anxiety, PTSD, etc).

Copyright 2022: Dr. Tracy Hutchinson, Ph.D. 

 

Would you like coaching or empowerment guidance? Contact Dr. Tracy Hutchinson today »

 

 

References:

Childs E., White, T., & Whit, H. (2014). Personality traits modulate emotional and physiological responses to stress. Behavioral Pharmacolology. 25, 493-502. doi:10.1097/FBP.000000000000006.

Godwin, A. & Lester, G. (2021). Demystifying personality disorders. Clinical Skills for working with drama and manipulation. (PESI) Lesser, E. (2004).

Lesser, E. (2008). Broken open, how difficult times help us grow. Villard: New York, NY.

Metzger, J. A. (2014). Adaptive Defense Mechanisms: Function and Transcendence. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 70(5), 478–488. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22091

Myss, C. (2001). Sacred contracts: Awakening your divine potential. Harmony Books, 2001. 

Turnipseed, D (2018). Emotional intelligence and OCB: The moderating role of work locus of control. Journal of  Social Psychology. 2018;158(3):322-336. doi:10.1080/00224545.2017.1346582

Vaillant, G. E. (2000). Adaptive mental mechanisms: Their role in a positive psychology. American Psychologist, 55(1), 89–98. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.89