Happy New Year! May this year be filled with peace and blessings for you.
As we embark on 2016, it is time for the dreaded New Year’s Resolution. The reason I say “dreaded” is although this idea can conjure up both positive feelings of a year behind us and a new prosperous year ahead, it can also bring up how we think and feel about ourselves for not meeting last year’s resolutions. So you didn’t lose that 10 lbs. What does that mean to you? Does that mean you failed? I wonder if you have considered what you did gain that was positive from last year’s resolutions, or what you did that was positive in the year. For example, did you gain a walking habit, or gain a closer relationship with your daughter by focusing on evening walks? Did you gain 5 lbs., but lower your blood pressure by having good self-care? Did you start a new exercise routine and meet a new friend? Did you care for your elderly mother and during her visit to her nutritionist, take the multivitamin the nutritionist recommended to your mother?
Take a moment to think of all the things you may have gained concerning your original goal. The results may surprise you. It is important to look at the benefits, strengths, and positives not only in our lives but within ourselves. As Wayne Dyer stated, “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change”.
Negative Emotions are Stronger than Positive Emotions
In our culture and as humans, we get stuck in the negative. Think back to a time you received positive praise regarding something you did and in light of many positive evaluations, there was one negative evaluation. Which did you focus on the most? Most likely, the negative comment. Did you ever wonder why? The reason is that research supports that negative emotions are stronger than positive emotions.
According to Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., a leading researcher in positive emotions, it takes 3 positive emotions to combat 1 negative emotion. Marriage researchers report that focusing on what is going right with your partner and relationship (i.e., what you appreciate) versus what is wrong may lead to a healthier marriage. Therefore, be conscious. You now know that negative emotions are normal and may cause longer-lasting reactions within us unless we choose to shift our focus. So, we may focus or pay attention to the negative because negative emotions are stronger. However, you have the power to shift your focus and do things that generate positive emotions.
Therefore, you may want to think about and even journal about what you love, what is great about you, and all you accomplished in this last year. If that is hard for you, ask your loved ones and friends to help you. Also, focus on all the things you are grateful for and the hidden blessings in your New Year’s resolutions from last year, and the things you look at may change, too.
