Are you always saying you are sorry and apologizing? Do you go against what you think and feel because you are afraid of what people may think? Are you able to accept compliments? Do you have trouble saying “No” to others? Do you take blame easily in your relationships or at work?
If so, you may suffer from low self-esteem. Why is esteem important? As you have higher levels of self-esteem, you can feel better about yourself. You may have improved relationships at home and work and more confidence in your abilities. You may feel more confident in achieving your personal and professional goals. I have often found that as self-esteem improves, one can take more risks in life, have less fear, and achieve personal goals. Therefore, having good self-esteem is important for your well-being, your relationships with others, and your relationship with yourself!
How do you know you have low self-esteem? Here are some indicators:
- Inability to accept compliments
- Making negative self-remarks “I am so stupid, I am so ugly, I am not smart”
- See yourself as worthless, unimportant, a burden
- Takes blame easily
- Difficulty saying no to others
- Fear of rejection by others
- Lack of goals in life, or inappropriately low goals
- Unable to identify positive aspects of self
- Anxious and uncomfortable in social situations
Additionally, low self-esteem is correlated with mental health “disorders”, such as anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol use, and personality disorders. Generally, it is the core beliefs you have about yourself that fuel low self-esteem such as “I am not good enough, I am stupid or I am a failure/loser”. This internal dialogue can stem from messages you heard and interpreted from childhood, current relationships, and or circumstances in your life. For example, many individuals who have been in abusive relationships (emotional, psychological, physical, sexual) can suffer from low self-esteem depending on several factors including how long he/she stayed in the relationship.
If you believe you have low self-esteem counseling can help uncover the core beliefs and provide alternate interpretations and beliefs to improve your self-esteem. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and EMDR can help. By uncovering these negative beliefs with a counselor, you can begin to heal by instilling positive beliefs and feeling better about yourself consistently.
